BELIEVE IT PRISON FARM!
by TearShield Alchemist
Summary: Itachi was finally caught and sent to a prison farm. Insanity ensues. May result in sequel. Cover your eyes. No yaoi. No pairings in general. Rated Kplus for hypothetical future chapters. Pure crack, as dared by VengefulMoon


A/n: As dared by VengefulMoon, this had to be a crackfic completed in THREE DAYS… no pairings… damnit! WARNING: VERY AU!

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BELIEVE IT!: PRISON FARM!

Itachi stepped over the dog poo while looking disgusted. This wasn't the kind of things Akatsuki did, but Itachi; the ex-S-rank criminal had been caught by none other than the person he'd been trying to catch…

That guy in the banana suit singing the peanut-butter jelly song.

And since that had happened, he'd been sentenced to community service on a farm where he had to help spread manure on the fields.

It didn't help that there was an annoying blonde person in an orange jumpsuit jumping up and down beside him. It made him seasick.

Now, this blonde wasn't just annoying to Itachi, or just to Sakura, or just to Sasuke, but EVERYONE knew he was annoying. Always going "DATTEBAYO" or when he uses his badly dubbed voice: "BELIEVE IT!"

Now Itachi knew the blonde was an orphan, but why did this orphan have to be as annoying as that one who wouldn't stop singing. What was her name…  
Fanny? Granny?... All Itachi knew was she had red hair.

"DATTEBAYO! Believe it!" Naruto jumped, looking at the black with red clouds cloak wearing guy with the funny hat next to him.

He had oddly strange eyes. Much like that guy who was in here for killing a Sannin.

Sakura looked all over for her NEW pink high heels; her mother had only sent them to the farm to her for her last birthday. It wasn't her fault she killed Ino. I mean, that girl was about to steal HER Sasuke-kun, so that meant she had to die. And then Sakura went to a farm, but she didn't know why, as she'd done "the right thing".

Itachi glared at the pink haired girl who seemed to be glaring at him but instead was glaring past him and the orange jump-suited boy who was glaring at the Sannin-killer Sasuke who was glaring at Itachi himself who glared past him at the pink haired lady.  
"I'm wearing your shoes!" he burst out laughing, pointing at who seemed to be Sasuke, but was instead Sakura. Not saying that Sasuke looks like Sakura or anything.

At dinner that night, Naruto sat next to Sasuke, slurping his ramen lousily (not loudly, lousily) even though Sasuke had made it clear he didn't like ramen, could kill and looked hott while doing it.  
"ALL OF MY FAMILY IS DEAD!" Sasuke shouted at the ramen bowl. Naruto blinked his foxy little eyes. Then he went back to slurping his now empty bowl.

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Iruka-sensei came and whacked him on the back of the head, not that you know who he is.  
"DANCE!"  
Sasuke stood up.  
"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" 

Neji did the Macarena.

Itachi looked at his foot. It hollered, but it was still a foot. Then a big black thing stepped on his toe, but that wasn't a foot, so it didn't matter.  
"MY TOE IS ON FIRE OVER HERE!"

Sasuke stole Kakashi's, the head farmer's (since his name means SCARECROW), mask. That was the last we ever saw of him.

"Reporting today on the Konoha news, Uchiha Sasuke has been running about a farm in the NYUUUDE for the past three hours now," Naruto reported from inside his box that had been painted to look like a TV. "We would stop him, but I'm enjoying this too goddamned much!"  
Itachi wished Naruto was on TV. Not just to torture the people who actually watch the little box of horror, but so He, Itachi, could turn him, Naruto, off whenever he became annoying. Or, just use the mute button. Whatever needed to be used, he guessed.

Itachi rolled over in his box, which had been conveniently placed near an escape portal, and sighed.

He wished his mommy was there…

And that Kisame was too…

And that he had pink fluffy slippers…

And a bowl of Shark Fin Soup to make him feel better.

On second though, just the slippers.

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You so did not just read him think that.

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A/n: Pure crack, made no sense but was highly enjoyable…

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SASUKE LOOKS LIKE SAKURA? 

This may mean a sequel…hmmmmmm…

DONUT!


End file.
